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The church of mans vanity [26 Oct 2007|01:32pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]


The church stood tall and stately
a mighty cathedral built to house the glory of god
and I stood outside its doors waiting for services to begin.
The parishioners filed by making their way up the steps
and I noticed on the bottom step an old man
homeless and filthy wearing only rags
and I heard one of the people whisper to another
of how deplorable he was and how they despised his presence there
and thus was gods will placed upon me
so I approached the man
and bid him come with me
leading him to the alter I knelt with him
and asked of a child nearby to find me a pail of water and a towel
the parish stood in astonishment
and the pastor approached me and asked my why I committed this act
sacrilege in his eyes for I defiled the holy place
with this vagrant man nobody wanted
as the child returned with the water I removed his shoes
and said to the preacher
surely the last shall be first
and he that is condemned in your eyes is blessed by god
washing the mans feet I removed the dirt from his skin
and said a prayer to god to cleanse his soul
I asked that man then to go forth and seek all who would come
and bring them here
to this place of divine splendor wrought by mans hands
and he did
and they came in mass to the doors
which by then had been closed by the church goers
and so I flung open the doors and bid them enter as well
speaking loudly
proclaiming gods glory
I led them to the baptismal pool
and one by one I sought salvation for their souls
let he that is without sin cast the first stone
I was arrested and removed
that church filled with would be saints
tainted by their own vanity
still stands today
but my father is not there in
for he sits in this cell with me
a prisoner of mankind's unwillingness to believe

4 Lyrics [08 Sep 2007|08:27pm]


Featured Lyrics
Thinking of you By: Tiffany
Life By: Tiffany
Why my Sister By: Tiffany
Home By: Tiffany


[27 Jul 2007|07:44am]

So, I sit, like I always sit, blinking empty screen. Nothing to write, except the nothingness in life, the whiteness of my canvas the sadness of my heart, once again hope disillusioned me, it always does.
I cried already, I screamed, cursed, fell and broke all I could. I blamed life, and God, and everyone I could, there is nothing else to do. The madness of the moment has passed, like the taste of sugar that lingers in our mouth; it’s like a vague memory of some other life.
And now I sit again, wanting to write an epic, a passionate portrait of the very human existence. Yet nothing flows, my hands are still against a dusty keyboard and a soft, strong voice breaks the silence as my mother sings the afternoon away. Now and then the creaking of my chair as I move despairing at the stupidity of my mind.
To trust, to trust in hope again! What a fool I was! To think that this time things would turn out well and that finally the fairy tale ending would be granted by the creator. I knew it, somewhere hidden, expect the worse my torments said, and at night I dreamed this moment.
Déjà vu, the French call it, promotion those that practice magic, a revelation the faithful whisper, life my mother said. I don’t have a name for it; I don’t think I could stand a baptism at this point. I only know that hope is for the foolish and I will never trust again!
Then came the calming raindrops after the storm has passed, the piecing together pieces of my life, the fishes returned to the sea, and the sun rays peaked amongst the grayness. At night, the silence of the darkness, shouting the brightness of the moon, and the stars, big shiny eyes of the heaves asking forgives from my mortal soul. Dare I be hopeful again?
NO! You promised!
But, the trees kneeled pleading and the wind whispers the secrets of success. I smile roaming the vastness of the world. And again nothing comes to me, no great epic tale, nothing but jumbled words stare back from the screen. That forsaken blinking screen! But this time no tears puddle in my cheeks and I feels a rosy glow about me. Hope has returned, it always does! Perhaps tomorrow my price winning novel will show up! I know it will!

[16 Jul 2007|09:47am]

Good bye my love
goodbye my darling love
perhaps we’ll never see each other again
and our story was a mirage
Goodbye my love
you were the greatest gift that life could give me
the happiness I could see
but all things come to an end
Goodbye my love
goodbye my darling love
let the water run between us
let the last drop fall
let the story close
but before the last words are said
take me to bed, again
make me yours like olden days
in your savvy old time ways
make me feel alive again
dry my tears with your lips
hold my hair in your hands
let the body’s curve like sands in an oasis
Goodbye my love
Goodbye my darling love
perhaps this is the last time my words reach your ears
and a smile cures my fears
Goodbye my love
I know that you like I
love the love we used to have
and its destiny that’s breaking us apart
I’ll keep you in my heart
Goodbye my love
goodbye my darling love
let the water run between us
let the last drop fall
let the story close
but before the last words are said
take me to bed, again
make me yours like olden days
in your savvy old time ways
make me feel alive again
dry my tears with your lips
hold my hair in your hands
let the body’s curve like sands in an oasis

[12 May 2007|10:12pm]

when I see a movie I want to write about it
I want the world to know
to see the plight of the characters and feel their tears of anguish like I do
I want he film to last forever
to never end
 for I could live in it
evading the concept of reality as long as the screen flickers and the music rolls by
yet they always prove to be a disappointment
ending as silently as they came
leaving behind only hallowed memories
sounds and scenes that play only in my mind
every time the screen goes black
I feel a void
I’ve lost part of my life
I’ve lost a friend
I’ve lost my inspiration
the days roll by with their capricious ways
sometimes sunny
sometimes not
sometimes smiling people
sometimes tears fall from the sky
and I watch another movie
sitting, hopping
that this time, it will not end
that the heroine will not find her prince so soon
that evita will never die and sing forever
or for jack and rose to dance the night away
sometimes I even hold hope for the coroleone family to survive the atrocities
and little Madeline to be mischievous forever
yet again they all find peace within a two hour span and I still have hours to fill
before the night rest my soul
I’ve asked God to end my suffering many times
that stupid loneliness that assaults me
even in the happiest days
or the biggest crowds
in response he gives me silence
the same silence I try to run a way from
turning up the volume when Scarlet finally tells Reth she loves him
or Miranda tells Andrea everyone wants to be like them
God hasn’t taken my breath
I’ve tried to take it on my own
like Romeo does when his beloved dies
or Marco Antonio in the epic tale of Cleopatra
but I’m not so lucky as them
I don’t have the courage
to pull the trigger, or slice my veins
I’m a frightened girl,
who dreams of greatness
like everyone of those stars that fill the screen
will I?

[31 Mar 2007|07:28pm]

[ mood | apathetic ]

We are the x generation, the sons and daughters of the baby boom generation. We are the successors to their deeds and actions. Nomads lost in an eclectic mix of their likes our tastes and even their father’s opinions.
They complained their world was restricted, but at least they had a clear cut path. The women destined to live inside the home world, to teach the children, bake chocolate cakes with double mint decorations and curl their hair before every morning. The men were destined to be the strong breadwinners, study and provide the prettiest home for his family.
Then they dared to blur the lines so carefully drawn for man centuries. They sent the women to fight along their men, the races were mixed and the age old traditions were broken. All in hopes of building that ideal world so anticipated by children of no understanding. Yet, they could not finish… and we are the heirs to their half finished world. They, who always complain we don’t finish what we start handed to us an uncompleted path. What were we supposed to do?
We are the x generation, so alone and lost upon this land. Realizing that complete peace will never exist, doubting the pillars of religion, shaking the very foundations of our existence; yet, complete aware that we won’t finish the job either.
We are the x generations coping with change and pulling our traditions. Confusion between Frank Sinatra, Evanescence, and Bach. Undecided between the comfort and placidity of our bed or the reward of actions and activism
We are the x generation, true raiders of a lost world. We are the x generations laborers in an infinite gravel path. We are the x generation the beginning of the end.

[04 Sep 2006|04:22pm]

I never know how to say goodbye to a perfect day.
I never want it to end
I force myself to stay awake
hoping that the day would go on
but it always ends
and I am always left with those memories
and although those are nice
to keep in your pocket
and take out on a rainy day
I want the real thing
I don't want the memories
I want it to be a reality every waking day
I want that perfect day to be played over and over and over again
and I know
I just know
that if you were there
that would be the case
but I lost you now
and you are now much more far away
and I wish you the best
although deep down inside
I wish I had that perfect day...

in Missouri.

[30 Aug 2006|10:16pm]


I'm new here and thought I'd post a poem I write in my U.S. History class about two years ago.

The numbers in my head
No comfort in my bed

The touching doesn't rest
It's all posessed

I'm blind, can't see
I'm deaf, can't hear me

Where is it I be?
Am I really me?

Feel free to comment or provide suggestions.


Not my best work... [20 Mar 2006|09:59pm]

[ mood | tired ]

"19 and Gone"

He dreamed of kings and toy trucks,
Transformers, and legos
His goal, to become a fireman
A different fire took hold
Blazing in every pill, every injection
His friends and peers, manipulating the flames
She watched from afar, knowing the life he onced lived
She sprinkled sand over the flames every chance given
Blazing blues, reds, oranges, and yellows
The fire put him to sleep at night
In the morning the fire was out
And he was frozen cold,
Iced to the last eyelash,
Consumed by the heinous flames


The Hammer [19 Mar 2006|09:34pm]

[ mood | artistic ]

My dad he owned a hammer, way back when I was 4
a horrible, hard hammer though
it had no shape or form.
He broke my leggo with it
Crushed me as a sport
he scattered my toy soldiers
he smashed my little fort.

My dad he had a hammer, way back when I was 4
I was a little flower and I could hardly talk
"You are WORTHLESS, you are HOPELESS!"
is how I heard the blows and
I scream that mantra too myself
though his hammer's here no more.

A brutal and cruel tyrant had his hands around a tool
and aimed it at a little child before he started school
and the little child was spared the angst of feeling so afraid
by grabbing daddy's hammer and
handing himself the pain.

Now I dont want your hammer daddy
for you crushed me to the bone
Your horrible fucking hammer made me so alone
so take back your hammer daddy take back the pain you've sewn
from your horrible heavy hammer and
your heavy heart of stone.

by the frustrated mystic


My Utopia [12 Mar 2006|11:31pm]

I see your beauty before me
The perfect specimen of humanity
I feel your skin on my skin
Your hand touches my hand
I feel the warm rush of energy surging down my spine
Inching closer each second, your lips find my lips
The soft touch of your tongue to my own
But this is all surpassed
Nothing in comparison to what happens when I stop and gaze into your eyes
I stare strait into the soul
I see your true beauty that can’t be seen at a glance
The beauty that lies deep within the heart
I sense love in its purest form
This is the greatest feeling known to man

Incarcerated [06 Mar 2006|02:55am]

From the chamber whence rue doth grow
The cold cavity of dejection
Hence for years, my heart did stow
Pining for a new direction
Locked in solitude from love
Protected from the breaking force
But I then caught a quick glimpse of
That glorious escaping course
Freed from all captivity
From misery my heart did go
Out of darkness, made it’s flee
To a chamber whence rue doth grow

-Brother Doug

New Love [24 Feb 2006|07:37am]

The world is blind, has no eyes
The world is dark, so unkind
One can’t filter out the lies
Can’t put the past from my mind.
This place I hate, serves me death
Flooded when I cogitate
Carry on and strive for breath
Opportunity’s shut gate.

We strike a light, start to fly
Build me up before I quit
I don’t really want to die
I cease to cry, my wrists un-slit.
Patch the wounds and heal my heart
Stop to think and be set free
Know you are a work of art
Did your part, completed me.

[24 Nov 2005|08:06pm]

*Last time*
When was the last time you felt the worlds collide
How everything was wrong but it felt so right
The small smile on your face says it all
- -I could never leave you for the world- -


Sometimes I wonder. [12 Nov 2005|11:19pm]

Are we meant to be lonely when alone?
Can a man not satisfy himself with self-contentment?
Must we all suffer this damnation into a hopeless void?

In this empty hole we must seek for something, anything, to fill it.
We sacrifice our morals, our values, and our standards to fill this space.
Is this the way of humanity?
Are we no better than the animals we eat?

We devour ourselves in this pursuit for something so seldom found.
We destroy our futures so we can be happy with someone to stand at our side.
Yet, when this someone at our side isn't right, the void just consumes them.
We take them into our distraught lives and strangle them of their own,
Only to realize what we've done and let them free when it is too late.
Should these acts of cannibalism be punished further than our own guilt?

Even when we think that we've found the right person.
The person that we can share life with, not abolish.
We torture ourselves even more with inevitable doubt.
Does she feel the same?
What if she isn't like I think she is?
Will she hurt me like I've hurt others?
What if she isn't who I want?
Will I destroy her like I did the rest?

This contemplation is the very contemplation one feels towards humanity.
We are nothing more than well evolved animals.
Our thoughts only exist to help us survive.
We only love to protect our children

But this cannot all be true, can it?
We can't possibly be machines, we have creativity and artful nature.
It's not true, is it?

This is a question we all must wonder. What separates us from the animals.
What are our loved ones but mates?
Is this why we cannot live without them, because this horrible deity of Evolution tells us to?

No, we can't be. Animals don't see beauty.
Animals don't contemplate the ideals of politics with their significant others.
Animals don't make love, they simply reproduce.

Does she see me as attractive as I do her?
Does she feel the same of society relations as I do?
Does she understand the importance of love?

But doesn't love help nourish our youth?
Doesn't this understanding of each other create a stronger bond, to further be better parents?
Does this love for each other breed love for our young, to better protect them?

Animals don't feel love, their companionship is based upon an internal attraction.
Animals don't desire others they hardly know, for reasons other than sexual encouters.
Animals don't have understanding of their companions.

Will she love me?
Did she ever possess such feelings for me?
Could I ever understand her?

It is in this eternal debate that we suffer.
We cannot be happy until we can suppress this doubt and contemplation.
We cannot be happy until we understand the basics of love and humanity.

Life is faith.
Love is hope.
Ignorance is bliss.

[08 Nov 2005|08:29pm]

To bleed a dream of what I see,
My life draining from my arms paints the walls with my dream
roses are of yesterday, today it’s silver rings
voices tell me things you’d never think to see in some so small and lonely
the razor is my tool, and my blood the ink, the walls my canvas for my masterpeice

**comment please**
5 poets bleed

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